Misadvantures in Black Butler (One Shot)
by ttoree
Summary: Three friend decided one night to go and explore their local cemetery but instead of contacting spirits from beyond the graves they are met with other supernatural things! Or more like three dudes alone...in the dark...and one dude has sharp teeth?


Ghost investigation

Main objective: Talk to people from beyond the grave

Reason of investigation: Boredom and just dumb enough to do it

I stood off to the side snickering at my two friends who were bickering on the main reason we were at a cemetery at ten at night.

"Why are we out here again?!" Cassie my dearest and tallest friend yelled at my second friend Brandon, who was a dork and did dumb stuff on purpose.

"Because I want to try raising the dead!" He said in a mad man's voice. I rolled my eye and asked bluntly.

"You dork, how are we supposed to raise the dead with a phone recorder?" He stopped his hysterical laughing and just looked at me.

"…Well not all of us can be so scientific like you, Tori."

"Or have brain cells leak out of their ears like you, Brandon" I heard Cassie said underneath her breath while she smoothed back her lengthen black hair. However, Brandon being so hyped up, and with the wind howling, he didn't quite hear her. I just giggled and followed Brandon down a path that led us from the front gates into the cemetery.

We continued on with Brandon leading the way, me in the middle try to set my phone to recording, and Cassie last so you know that if someone or something jumps out and tries to eat us, she can easily escape. I tried to get a good look around, but could only see as far as a six feet; it was just too dark even with lamps to see outwards. On the other hand, the marble tombstones that the light could catch were range from small to huge, simple to detail. Nevertheless, like I said, it was dark and could only see as much as outlines of simple things but it was still beautiful to me.

"Can you please find a spot already" I said to Brandon, now feeling the chill swirl around and up through my hoodie.

"Just a few more steps and we shou…" He was quickly cut off with a voice that all three of us could hear loudly.

"_I can't believe that Will would do such a thing to me! Sending me off late at night! Does he know that a girl like me needs beauty sleep?!" _All three of us silently listen to a voice off a bit from where we stood.

"Who would be out here at this time of night?" Brandon who was now extremely close to me whispered right into my ear, I scuffed a bit loud so he could hear.

"I don't know, why are we here?" I replied with a shit load of sarcasm and shoved him away. Cassie stood on the other side of me, began humming and waiting for what to do next. Brandon who seem to be acting like "America" from _Hetalia_, walked off towards the voice with Cassie and I behind him try to signal not to go that way.

"What is he doing?!" Cassie hisses close to me. Quickly as I try to catch up to the dork, turned a bit and answered her without being so loud.

"I don't know but I'm going to give him a swift kick in the ass as soon as I catch up to him," Much that Cassie and I could speed walk we did make it in time to see that Brandon walking straight up to two strangers. I signal for Cassie to duck behind a tombstone beside me and watch what happens next.

Getting a closer inspection of who Brandon decided to stroll up to, I could see just two people. The first person that catches my attention was a man with long white hair that reaches down to his waist and couldn't even see his eyes, shorten top hat that then flows down with a tails, a dark coat that buttons the neck up, and a dull gray sash wrapped around his left shoulder down to his waist. He just sat comfortably on top of a tombstone listening to another person pacing shortly in front of him. The other man who was pacing around seemed to dress all in red, even his hair, except his white button up shirt, black vest, black pants, and black dress shoes.

"Excuse me." Brandon finally got up to two people, but I had a feeling that he was giving them a goofy smile and that oh-so-cheer attitude. The red clad dude stopped his pacing and turned towards him with a questionable look.

"Pray tell, who are you~?" The other dude from the tombstone asked with and wide grin on his face.

"The name is Brandon Weis and I'm here seeing if I can connect with the dead with my friends; who are over there." He then pointed in the direction of where Cassie and I were crouch down behind the tombstone.

"Are you fucking serious?" We both said at the same time, not wanting to meet random strangers in a cemetery. Looking at Cassie, she had her hand on her face looking a bit irritated. I just huff not wanting to deal with this kind of situation, I mean he just randomly went up to people that are hanging out in a cemetery looking like a crazy bunch from the circus. Plus, the dude in red had sharp teeth that look like he could take a chunk of someone's arm off. Before we could responded or run and hide behind another tombstone, and arm reached from behind me and wrapped around my shoulder.

"What are two fine ladies like yourselves doing out here~" I slightly turn to face a dude that was about an inch away from my face.

"Nya….." Cassie was also had the guys arm around her shoulders and from what I can tell she doesn't look quite comfortable. The dude with blonde hair with black underneath looked like he works in an office but more like the coffee boy or mail deliver dude.

"Give me a good reason for not giving you kick in the ass right now." I growled at the dude who continued so smirk and squeeze my shoulder a bit.

"You're such a feisty person!" Okay, I figured enough was enough, so I grabbed his arm that was wrapped around me and flipped him forwarded that he landed on his back in front of us.

"Touch me again and I'll end you" He nodded his head and quickly scampered over to the dude in red and hid behind him.

"How many times have a told you not to be too flirt with random people~" Red dude questioned the person behind him. Rolling my eyes at the scenario, Brandon was steaming about the dude flirting with me, the one that is sitting on the tombstone looks like he's spacing off and drooling, and the blonde dude was whining.

"And who are you two?~"Grayed hair man asked swaying his legs back and forth like a little kid waiting for something exciting to happen while eating a… dog treat? Okay that was weird. I look at Cassie and she seemed to knows it too cause I could see her with a expression between try to contain her laughing and wondering which funny farm did this dude brake out of.

"And why would we..." I started to say but then was interrupted by Brandon.

"This is Tori" He pointed at me while I made a 'wft' face.

"And this is Cassie!" Her expression was way worse that I thought she was going to pull out a huge ass knife!

"Like I was saying we're out here to do a paranormal investigation! So what brings you to this neck of the woods?" I just ya I just want to slap him, I just think that he only talks to hear himself. Blondie seemed to sprint into action and passed Brandon and walked over to Cassie.

"We're here on official business and stop to see the beautiful sights~" He said with a wink before grabbing Cassie's hand and bringing it up to his lips and kiss it. Pervert alert was blaring through my head. Then he seemed to forget the threat I said to him and reach over, quickly grabbed my hand and kissed it too. I made a gross face and then wiped my hand off but then seem to laugh inside cause Brandon at that moment was bright red and it look as if like steam was leaking out of his ears. Dude in the red saw it too and laughed while the other dude that was now off the tombstone and was somewhat leaning over next to Brandon with a huge grin on his face.

"Are we a bit jealous~?" He cleverly questioned which cause Brandon to be more in rage or redder in the face. I pushed the dude way from me then cleared my throat to get everyone's attention.

"Since you know our names now," I sharply looked over at Brandon, "it would be polite to introduce yourselves." The red clad dude swing his hips around with his finger on his lip looking like he was deciding to or not to.

"We'll tell you our names, for a price~" The man in gray said with a huge smirk on his face. Now my Creepy Alert was blaring through my head. What type of payment does he want?!

"I want…" He started. Which Cassie, Brandon, and I leaned a bit forward to catch what he would say next.

"…each of you tell me a joke~" He purred with an over exaggerated grin with a bit of drool.

"I like this guy!" Cassie snickers quietly.

"Huh?"

"Yes~ a joke, tell me a joke and we shall tell you who we are!" We blankly stared at him. The guy in the red stepped forward and flared his arm around at the gray hair dude.

"A joke, why not ask for material things hmm!?"

"Or a number? Maybe a date?" Blondie said who happen to be next to Cassie. He tried then to reach out and grab Cassie's hand again but Cassie, seeing this, pulled her hand back, stuck out her tongue, and slapped his hand. I laughed and told him he was a bad llama. He quickly retreated back to the red guy with his head down.

Anyway, the dude in the gray waiting for an answer. I pondered it over but I wanted to get the others opinion so I coughed to get their attention.

"So?" I question. Cassie shrugged her shoulders with an I-don't-care, and Brandon rapidly nodded his head yes.

"Who will go first?"

"I WILL!" Brandon was jumping up and down with determination, so I gestured with my hands in telling him to go for it. He took a step forward to the three guys like he was stepping onto a stage. He cleared his throat, straightens his jacket out, and then smiled.

"Why did the chicken cross the square?" He questions anybody to answer which none did. He then continued on with.

"To get to the same angle!" Brandon giggled loudly. None of the three guys or us two girls made a sound. Brandon who stopped laughing saw this and said.

"Cause you know it a square…angles…are all the same sides…." But again no one said a word. It was quiet enough that I actually think I heard a cricket somewhere in the back of the cemetery.

I stepped over to Brandon who had his head down, and I patted his back. He then went over to where Cassie stood. I, then, acknowledge that I was standing in front of the three.

"Umm…" I nervously said.

"Your Turn~!" Cassie said. I turned and glared at her. She just continued on sing 'your turn' with a smirk. I stuck my tongue out at her and then face back around to my audience.

"Okay then…um~ O okay, why don't ponies sing?" Again it was silent.

"Because they're a little horse" Silent once again but then the Blondie and the dude in red crackled out.

"DUDE YOU GOT THAT FROM MY GRANDPA!" Cassie said while laughing.

"It was the only thing I could think of!"

"BUT STILL YOU GOT THAT FROM MY GRANDPA SO THAT MEANS HE IS THE MOST AWESOMENESS JOKERSTER AND I MEAN AWESOME LIKE PRUSSIA!" Cassie at this point looks like she was going to pass out from laughing too hard.

"BREATHE CASSIE, BREATHE!"

"I CAN'T, TORI-CHAN MAKE IT STOP HURTING!" I walked over to her, she was hunch over holding her sides, and I punch her in the arm.

"OWIE!"

"There, is it hurting anymore?"

"NO YOU STUPID POTATO EATING BASTARD, NOW MY ARM HURTS" Cassie whined rubbed her hurt arm.

"You turn~!" I then turn to stand next to Brandon who was still sulking. She huffed and she puffed but she only let out gentle sigh.

"Hm?" The dude in the gray tilts his head.

"…There's three roosters sitting on a fence post, one's normal , ones mentally handicapped, and the other one is gay, the normal one says "cock a doodle do", the mental one says "doodle cock a do", and the gay one says "any cock would do"." I quickly hunch over and try to contain my laughter. I peeked over to see if the white hair man even chuckled. But he just drooled on with a blank stare or what look like a blank stare.

"Damn, I broke Tori! Quick Brandon give her CPR!" Cassie loudly yelled with a grin that seems to grow too widely. I freaked, quickly stopping my giggles I shoot off away from Brandon, who saw a chance to be 'Mr. Funny' and took off after me.

"CASSIE YOU BETTER HOPE I DO NOT GET YOU BECAUSE I KNOW WHERE YOU SLEEP!"

"And I know where you keep your secret stash of chips~!" She happily replied. I continued to fume as I ran away from Brandon who kept a good few paces behind me. Okay about this point I was getting pretty dizzy from running around the graveyard so I decided to climb a tree.

"Dude you're not a monkey! You're a moose that licks windows for a job in Canada~!" Cassie said as she came up to the tree I was in. Brandon was next to her, panting and hunch over. I could only scowl at them from the top of where the branches started. The two out of the other group joined my friends at the bottom of the tree looking up at me with amusement.

"Do you three always act like this~?" The guy with the red hair asked while leaning to his left side and his hand on that side of his hip.

"Only when she hasn't had sleep or sugar," Cassie replied as she stared up at me.

"How often is that?" the blond asked.

"Usually four times a week," As the conversation went on with me and my 'hyperness', none of us notices a voice that was quiet but then grew with intensity. I finally heard the voice which was more of a leery chuckle, and looked towards the man with the gray hair. Basically now the gray hair man had all of our attention, where he was from sitting on the tombstone was now on the ground rolling back and forth.

"DUDE WE BROKE HIM TOO!"

I jumped down and question Cassie, "Way to go Cassie, is there nothing you can't do?"

"I didn't mean to!"

"Hehehehehehehe, that was spectacular~! You three are a riot~" The man on the ground giggled. He continued doing this for several minutes before stand up.

"Now that I receive my payment, I shall tell you mine name as they should tell you the same~" He then took off his hand put it to his chest and took a deep bow. "My name is Undertaker~"

The dude in the red spins around and then did a pose that held sparkles from out of nowhere and shout out, "Grell Sutcliff"

And then the blond does a somewhat manly pose with less sparkles. "I'm Ronald Knox!"

"_And I'm very disappointed" _everyone in their spots froze. The new voice shocked us and the other group seems to shiver in fear.

"Will!" Grell, who screech like a twelve year old fan girl, jump/leaped out towards a man that looked more like one of those business office guys, with slick black hair and framed glass which he pushed up after side stepping Grell.

"Once again Grell, I found you not doing the work that was given to you and furthermore you are goofing around with humans," Will huffed.

"But Will~ you send me and poor Ronald out into the middle of nowhere at the dead of night~" He winced while clinging to Wills pants leg.

"Mr. Spears! We were just on our way to…" Ronald tried to explain but Will just put a hand up, stopping Ronald to continue on.

"I can clearly see that none of you are doing what was planned, even with Undertaker here" Will flicked over to Undertaker who was just looking around like Will's scary looks of doom didn't bother him.

"So since this is taking longer but not the usual, I will just have to assist or more of the lines guide you to your work" The non-negotiable talking was in depth boring but seem to strike fear into the group that me and my friends just met which then I could only guess that the office dude was their somewhat boss.

Then from the corner of my eye I saw but who else Brandon doing his happy walk up dance thing-ma-bob to Will. The only thing at this second that ran this my mind was…

Shit.

"Hi, my name is Brandon, my friends and I…" Brandon after a second of notice the dude not listen, stop talking and looked like he was a dog that just got kicked, I think I just heard him whimper too. Okay I may enjoy Brandon getting hurt for fun, but fun was fun and this was not funny. So instead of doing the happy walk dance up, I stomp up like until I was in front of him. He stopped is on slaughter of discipline on Grell and directed his attention on to me, which now I really don't want to because now I know why everyone who stood in front of him where shacking like a leaf. His gaze was like liquid fire and DAMN it burns~!

"Dude my friend was talking to you"

"Well it seem he was interrupting my conversation that I was in already" he said straighten his glasses.

"WELL being rude in all, a simple 'one moment please' could have been said taking that you seem to be in the business area and the air of boss and also the conversation seem more to me like an on slaughter of beat downs," Williams green eyes harden. Either I got him at his level or he just does not tolerate anybody.

For some reason I feel everyone stare at me but not taking the chance to look about and confirming it, I could the stare contest with William. Chuckling sought William and mine attention over to Undertaker who was grinning.

"Do I see friction~" What? Noooooo.

We quickly step back and looked away from each other, I could hear Cassie giggle from behind me and then she leaned over to my left side.

"Ooooo Tori has a crush~"

"Shut up Cassie!" The conversation was now getting odder by the moment so I nudged Cassie back from my left side and then steered the conversation somewhere else.

"It's getting late now and its way passed Brandon's bed time so we're going to go now"

"It's not my bed time."

"Really because usually when you get into a goofy mood that usually mean you need sleep." Brandon huffed like he was about to pout but then he started to poke me in the face. I could feel my right eye twitch.

"Squishy face!"

"See" So I grabbed him by the wrist and had Cassie in front of me so I could push her to walk.

"Sorry to rush we have go, nice meeting you bye!" I tried to hurry the two but didn't even look ahead of myself and before I could see what was ahead Cassie stopped in her steps, causing me to run into her and Brandon to run into me.

"Now I don't know if we can really actually let you just wonder off yet~" The Undertaker stood in front of us.

"And why is that?" Cassie asked.

"Well you have seen us which many people choose to ignore us or simple can't see us~" Will then stepped up to where Undertaker stood and spoke.

"And since you have seen us which can cause some troubles we must figure out what to do to you three" Okay bad situation to be in when there is four out of three people, very bad ratio.

"What are you going to do with us?"

Gruesome death?

Slow and painful torture?

For some reason I can't see them killing us fast and swiftly.

"Oh Will! Can I figure out what to do with them?!" Grell asked happily.

Okay I can see Grell maybe killing us fast and swiftly.

William again adjusted his glasses to its proper place on his face.

"No Grell we will do this in a suitable matter" burying us is out of the question because I think the grounds keeper would notice a freshly buried graves, so cutting us into small chunks sound right.

"What are you going to do with us and why do you seem to need to do something? Are you four criminals?" I asked again.

"I assure you that we do not attend to kill you, if that is what keeps running through your mind" Will stated.

"And no we are much more than common criminals we have a job that requires on time schedules and exact protocols" William cut his eyes over to Grell, who in turn cringed.

"And we do not need people going around asking if we have been here and you three telling, So I have decide to do the most somewhat painless opinion" I rose my brow to that.

"And that would be?"

"A knock to the head" William seem to Flash super speed out of sight, I then felt the most painful-ish pain in the back of my head and then my sight to seem to dim until nothing.

"_Tori" _

_Humm…_

"_Tori?"_

_Gosh can't anyone let me sleep in_

"TORI!" jolting up I quickly applied my hand to the back of my skull for a searing pain seem to pulse to it.

"What happen?" Grumpily asking, I then lift my hand towards Brandon to grab because lying on the flat ground was hurting my back at this point, so he applied helping me out back onto my two feet.

"Uh we were out here doing an investigation and talking about raising the dead with a recorder and then you wanted to beat Brandon up because of it, and after that I really don't remember" Cassie said filling in some of the cracks.

"Do you think we got robbed?" Brandon said. We all quickly check if we had all our stuff which nothing seem to be gone.

"Okay so we were not robbed, do you think something paranormal happen?" Brandon question us and himself which neither Cassie or I replied about.

"So then let's wrap this up and call it a day?" Cassie asked. It was agreed without word that we did pack up, even though we only had a phone, and book it out of there to the car.

"Hey Tori, what's in your hair?" Cassie who was seated in the back and I was in the passenger's seat, reach up and tugged something out of my hair. I turn to see Cassie holding a red and white stripped bow ribbon thing in her hand.

"Umm, I didn't have that when we got here…" Brandon, who in the first time didn't have anything to say, started the car and drove out of the cemetery but not before somewhat airborne the car over a bump outside of the cemetery.

_Somewhere else…_

"WHERE DID MY TIE GO?"

"I think Undertaker took it and put it on that blonde"

"AND YOU DIDN'T SEEM TO MENTION THIS TO ME, RONALD?"

"Hehehe I thought you knew"

"….UNDERTAKER!"

Writers Note: Sorry that I made my characters seem a bit mean but trying to find a balance between mine and the characters from Black Butler is very complicating to me. Also I do not own any characters of Black Butler only the three crazy people.

…Cassie: AS IF YOU OWN ME! She's very abusive when I try to grammar check her story T-T

..p.s. that's my editor (^,^)


End file.
